So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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