You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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