Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
