That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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