Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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