Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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