Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
