her vagine was all disorganized.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
