this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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