pedialite and red bull = repair kit
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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