Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
the day after is always just damage control
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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