so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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