I got chris browned last night
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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