guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
