whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
