I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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