captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
