umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
she pinky promised me she was 18
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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