"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I CAN MOONWALK!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
