i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
