Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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