no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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