TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
