mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
