What a fucking waste of an outfit
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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