I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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