well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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