Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
