I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
