Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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