Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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