Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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