Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
