the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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