There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
