I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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