No stitches, just platelets and will power
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So much rum. So many feels.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
