walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
