the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
