Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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