I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
