chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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