And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
