im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
We're too hungover to prance.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
