Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize