I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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