Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
