Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
