no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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