i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
