dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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