i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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