3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize