and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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