Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
