Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
