I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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