we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
is it fun? or sober?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize